“You want us to do what?” I asked, confused. “Seriously?”
“London is shut down to all teleportation and runic travel,” Monty said after taking a sip from his cup. “May have something to do with our last visit there.”
“You think?” I said, staring at him. “You practically leveled the city. I’m sure they’re still touchy about the extensive renovations to London Tower.”
“You mean the Tower of London?”
“That castle you blew apart where they keep the crown jewels,” I said. “The real old one near the river.”
“That was the Krampus,” Monty said. “If I recall, aside from the bridges, there were major repairs to the Tate Museum in the wake of your creature ‘cutting loose.’”
Peaches rumbled from under the table.
“Peaches doesn’t ‘cut loose.’”
“What do you call the wholesale destruction he unleashed?”
“I seem to recall they wanted to kill him,” I said, glancing under the table where my hellhound sprawled. “I call it self-defense.”
“Fair point,” Monty said with a nod. “Still, he could have just plane-walked away, not toppling the building upon his exit.”
“Okay, fine,” I admitted. “That was all Peaches, but you have to admit the Tate deserves to be blasted from existence. A crater would look better than that monstrosity of a building. Don’t even get me started on the supposed art they display.”
“Be that as it may,” Monty said, glancing to his left, “the Penumbra Consortium did not appreciate the destruction of the building while they were still inside it. Finally, my uncle is here.”
I looked at the door at the end of the corridor. Its frame gave off a green glow before opening. to reveal Dex, who walked into the hallway which led to the kitchen where we were sitting.
Peaches rumbled again.
<I’m so hungry. Can the old man make me some meat?>
<You just ate twenty minutes ago. How about you wait a bit?>
<You always say I should live in the moment.>
<Right. You should always be in the present.>
<In this present, I’m starving. Can you ask the old man for some meat?>
<I’ll see what I can do.>
<I know what you can do, and it hurts my stomach. Please ask the old man.>
My hellhound was now suddenly a Zen master of witty comebacks. I really needed to get him out more.
“Morning, lads,” Dex said as he entered the kitchen. “I’ve made some calls.”
Dex was dressed—which was a nice change—in a pastel-green Armani dress shirt, and a pair of dark 501s that looked like they were about a hundred years old. On his feet he wore a pair of dark brown Thursday Vanguard boots. His long, gray hair was pulled back in a braided ponytail, rounding out the bohemian mage look.
“Nice jeans,” I said with a chuckle. “They look about a century old. Is this the vintage Dex look?”
Dex looked down and grinned at me.
“Like them? 1860 to be precise,” Dex answered. “Got them from Levi, personally. Probably worth a small fortune today. This is Mo’s effort to make me look respectable.”
“What’s that on your neck?” I asked. “That looks like a…”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to, boy,” Dex said with a smile. “Unless you want the details?”
“Um, no, hard pass, thanks,” I said quickly. “Some things are better in my imagination.”
“I used to think the same thing,” Dex answered. “Are you sure?”
“He’s sure,” Monty said, saving me. “Who did you call?”
“I have news,” Dex said, his expression becoming serious. “But first, the dark elixir of the gods.”
I held my breath in anticipation as Dex gestured. On the counter in front of us materialized two steaming mugs of the best Deathwish javambrosia on the planet. I grabbed my mug and brought it close to my face, inhaling the aroma.
“This smell should be illegal,” I said before taking my first sip of the day and groaning with caffeinated delight. “If you’re going to teach me anything, you need to teach me how to do this.”
“Nothing like a proper cup to start the day,” Dex said with a groan of is own after taking a long pull.
Monty rolled his eyes at us and sipped his tea.
“You were saying you had news,” Monty repeated. “Who did you contact?”
“Yes, I have news,” Dex said. “Not all of it is bad. Well, most of it is bad, but there is some that isn’t entirely bad.”
“Why does that sound like it’s all bad?” I said. “Who did you call?”
“Some of my contacts in London,” Dex said, materializing an enormous sausage the size of my arm and sliding it under the table to my ever-voracious vacuum of a hellhound. “That’s a good boy.”
“If you keep feeding him like that, he won’t be able to move,” I said, peeking under the table. “What did your contacts say?”
“Who exactly, Uncle Dex?” Monty pressed. “Which contacts?”
I wondered why Monty was so interested in knowing who, exactly.
“Does it matter?” I asked. “What’s the news?”
“It matters, especially with a mage of my uncle’s caliber and reputation,” Monty replied. “I only know a few individuals who would risk providing him information.” Monty turned to Dex. “Who was it?”
“Fine,” Dex said, throwing a hand into the air. “It was Nana. Happy?”
“Yes, actually,” Monty said with a smile. “It’s good to know she’s actually among the living again.”
“Wait, what? Nana?” I said, confused. “How did you speak to Nana? I thought she was…?”
“Dead?” Dex said. “I’ll believe that when I personally confirm the actual corpse.”
“Is she in hiding?” Monty asked.
“Aye,” Dex said with a nod. “The Penumbra Consortium is still irked over your last visit there. She’s being held partially responsible for the destruction.”
“That’s foolish,” Monty said after another sip. “Why would they risk angering her?”
“Because they’re bureaucrats,” Dex said. “London, as you know by now, is locked down, but I managed a workaround to get you in. Here you go.”
Dex reached into his shirt pocket and placed an envelope on the counter in front of me.
“What’s this?” I asked. “Is it some secret teleportation rune that can get us in?”
“Two tickets to British Airways Flight 1220, departs from JFK at 10 PM tonight,” Dex said. “Better for you to enter under the cover of darkness.”
“Two tickets…? You’re joking, right?”
“Then there’s the matter of the pup,” Dex continued. “I’ll have to take him over myself. Smaller signature should make it easier. You two would be impossible without setting off failsafes all over the point of entry.”
“You’re serious?” I said. “I thought Monty was having a rare moment of hilarity when he told me your plan.”
“I never have moments of hilarity,” Monty said. “This is the best, safest, and only way to get over there without being detected.”
“But Dex is a teleportation master,” I said, turning to Dex. “Aren’t you?”
“Teleportation master is a little much, but I’m good,” Dex said. “If I tell you this is the best and only way, trust me, this is the best and only way.”
“What about Peaches?”
“We’ll pop over to Wales, which isn’t locked down, and make our way to London by conventional means,” Dex said. “With you in the air and my approach from Wales it’ll be like burning the midnight oil at both ends. They’ll be completely confused.”
“Sort of how I am right now?”
“Exactly,” Dex said with a nod. “This should work. I’ll make sure to mask you two before you leave tonight. As long as my nephew doesn’t cast on the plane, and you don’t unleash one of your missiles, like you did last time, everything should go as planned.”
“Like I did last time?”
“That’s what I said, boy,” Dex said. “Something the matter with your hearing?”
“I only created that orb because you instructed me to,” I said.
“True,” Dex said with an evil smile, “but you were the one who created it, weren’t you?”
I opened my mouth and shut it again.
Dex laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.
“I can’t believe you,” I said, shaking my head. “I was set up.”
“Sure you were,” Dex said, waving my words away. “Now, a few things. First, Nephew, you will have to meet with Nana at some point. I told her it was a bad idea, but she insists and you know your Nana.”
“I expected as much.”
“Next is finding York,” Dex said. “He is currently in hiding.”
“In hiding?” I asked. “How are we going to find him if he is in hiding? How do we even know he is in London?”
“He can’t leave London,” Dex said. “As for finding him, I have that arranged for when you land. Leave that to me.”
“Why does that sound like a disaster in the making?”
“Ach, boy, have some faith,” Dex said. “Everything will be fine.”
